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It is widely believed that Jack did not climb a bean stalk.
It was a hops vine. |
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It grows right to the sky,
or at least to the top of the house. |
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Beautiful, no?
The vine really likes the protected southern exposure
with the reflected light from the white house.
Yes, that's right, the farmer lives in the White House
(Just like Jimmy Carter). |
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| Lovely green flowers! |
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| And quite aromatic. |
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This is the view from the Hops room.
It's near the Oval Office. |
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| The window is a good vantage point for hops inspection. |
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| There is much to inspect. |
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| The hops farmer prepares for the harvest. |
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He must climb to the top of the vine
and carefully, lovingly remove each fragile flower. |
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| It's exacting and dangerous work. |
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But wait!
Perhaps there is another way! |
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| Maybe if the vine is unwound and pulled down... |
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And it doesn't get stuck on the slipshod connector
that was used to extend the pole... |
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Instead of bringing the farmer to the vine,
perhaps the vine can be brought to the farmer.
Those flowers are tougher than they look. |
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Once removed, the vine can be used
to complete the floral adornment of the entryway.
Eat your heart out, Barack. |
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| Alternatively, the vine can be moved to the picking station. |
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| Protein supplement optional. |
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The vine, half processed.
Note that the farmer was also
not fully processed at this point. |
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| The completed harvest, ready for drying. |
Now all these hops can be processed into pills that relieve pain. Really...hops can be made into a natural pain reliever.
Unlikely. I think these hops will be used to create beverages that relieve pain in a more traditional way. Perhaps you have relieved pain in this manner.
Remember to thank your hops farmer.
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| American Hop-pick. |
